If there’s one thing I’ve come to understand lately, it’s this;

Life is not ever truly going to go according to plan, and everything has a season.  Think back to December 31, 2019.  Would you ever have imagined where you’d be now?

So many of us are mourning.  Whether we’re mourning a way of life, a sickness or death of a loved one, a business that we once loved, a friendship that’s fallen by the wayside, or any other number of things.  Grief is grief and it comes in many forms. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and grief doesn’t have a timeline.   Sorry.  I can’t tell you when you’ll feel better.

You may be dealing with grief that is years old but still comes through you in waves.  You may be dealing with grief that is fresh and raw and all consuming. I’m in the second group at the moment so I thought I’d share some of the tools that I’ve been using to help me to cope.  

Yoga

– In particular Child’s pose.  Child’s pose is a place where I’m able to drop my weight to the mat in deep surrender.  If I only have 5 minutes, that’s enough time to gently surrender to what is, hit the reset button, and go again. 

 

Essential oils

.  Yes, they work.  The limbic system is where emotions and memories are stored. Inhaling an essential oil can be a powerful way to bring peace and calming to an overactive mind.  Here are some of my favourites lately;

Forgive blend – This blend has been powerful for me when feelings of anger threaten to take over my life.  When I’m in those moments where nothing seems to be going ‘according to plan’ and everyone seems on a mission to piss me off (they aren’t, it’s totally me!) Forgive is the blend I choose to roll over my heart and inhale deeply.  

Frankincense and Roman Chamomile soothe my soul.  They offer a reprieve from the craziness of it all and give me sanctuary from the season of storms swirling around me (you know, the ones in Facebook land) 

Sandalwood strengthens my connection to the divine inside of me.  I love Sandalwood especially when I feel overwhelmed and just need to connect to that still, quiet voice inside, where I know things will be ok. 

I’ve also been journaling on a more regular basis and spending time in nature.   Recently in the Facebook group, I asked about journaling and was surprised to hear that many women won’t journal out of fear that someone will read it.  For me, I’d feel lost without my journal.  What’s your experience with journaling?  I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

What I haven’t found a way to do is to give the people closest to me what they need. By the end of the day, I’ve nothing left.

Have you ever felt like this?

You just can’t.  Especially now when so many people are competing for your attention.  My mind keeps going to the parents who are trying to make the decision of how to school their children this fall.  Or the single parents who need to work from home AND care for little ones.  Or the business owners who are sinking because they can’t find people to work.  or … or…. or.  There’s just so much.  You/I cannot do it all!

So don’t.
Don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of having to be everything to everyone and to do things “like you should.”

If you’re going through something, allow yourself to go THROUGH it. Please don’t put a patch on it to deal with it later because trust me, this season will be harder when it settles into your cells and is living in your physical body as an ailment of sorts.  Instead;

Ask for space.

Tell people what you need. (scary, I know) 

Set boundaries.

Don’t settle for scraps.                                                     

Remember that free advice is worth what you pay for it.

Take all the time you need.

Use the tools that work for you – movement, rest, journaling, aromatherapy, whatever you can do to feel like you are moving through the fog. 

Seek professional help if needed.

Feed your body well.                                   

Rest.

Remember your friends.  They probably need you as much as you need them right now. 

You don’t have to do this alone. 

Remember that this too shall pass.  To everything there is a season.