Feeling stuck.

It’s Monday afternoon, day 16 of quarantine.  The cars are going by on the highway in front of my house, as they usually do.  I feel like I’m in a cocoon.  I feel out of touch with the outside world, sheltered almost. Stuck. 

Can anyone relate?

Because I’m introverted, I relish time alone and love the quiet and the slower pace.  I feel myself shrinking back to my childhood days.  The days when I was the observer, never the participant.  It’s comforting and it’s eerie.  I feel like I’ve been here before. 

Can anyone relate?

I have developed some bad habits over the past 16 days, or rather, over the past 4 days.  I started out eating really good meals, exercising daily, fueling my mind with courses and learning opportunities online, journaling and meditation.  Something happened around day 12.  I can’t explain it, but I started to let things slide.  I ate nachos, and only nachos, for 4 days straight, drank wine every day, and stopped exercising, other than walking the dogs. My journal sat on a lonely corner of my desk.  My yoga mat teased me from the other side of the room. 

Can anyone relate?

This morning, I decided that enough was enough.  I will eat good food, exercise daily, meditate, and continue my yoga practice.  I will limit my wine intake and my social media, and make the chocolate that’s in the house last. And, I will be the example that my work calls me to be. 

Can anyone relate?

Now, I’m sitting at my desk, procrastinating 6 things on my list that “need” doing today but not feeling it.  Me? I’m much better with a deadline.  Give me a time crunch or a busy schedule and watch me check things off a list.  Give me all the time in the world? not so much.

Can anyone relate?

I am feeling stuck.  Not stuck in my home but stuck in a weird paradigm that is life as we know it right now.  I feel like I cannot make myself move to take the actions I need to take. 

Can anyone relate?

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