This is a story of a pivotal moment in my life. Chances are, you have at least one of these moments that has driven you to find your purpose. This event I’m describing here was part of my Saturn return and was a double whammy because that’s also the gate of my Conscious Sun in Human Design.

In Human Design, the Saturn Return is all about facing the great challenge of your life. The gates that are in your Saturn are like the barbed wire of your life. They’re the things that keep coming up over and over again for you. Mine was no different.

First Saturn Return

It was a regular Thursday afternoon in late September. The sun was shining and summer was hanging on for dear life. You know those afternoons where you wish summer would never end? If you live where I live, that’s what you wish!

As little ones clung to my legs in my country kitchen, my dad walked in the door, which was unusual in the middle of a workday. This day was different though, because I knew he’d been to the city to see a specialist after experiencing his first stroke. He was 52.

I can still feel the words he said landing in my gut like a load of bricks. My cellular memory holds them closer than it should.

“I’ve just been diagnosed with Dementia. When the time comes, it will be up to you to put me in a nursing home because your mother and your sister won’t be able to handle it. They wear their feelings on their sleeves. You’re the strong one.”

And he walked out the door.

I was one person before that ‘conversation’, and another after it.

EVERYTHING in my life changed – and it happened instantaneously.

I was 29 and although I didn’t know it at the time, I was smack dab in the middle of my first Saturn Return. The gates of my Saturn are 16 and 8.

Gate 8 is also my Conscious Sun in Human Design.

Gate 16 Human Design

Gate 16 is The Gate of Skills in Human Design. It’s mastery, not perfection, mastery. It masters something through practice – think putting in the 10,000 hours to become an expert. The energy of gate 16 isn’t natural ability or talent, it’s something that you choose to master over time. The downside of gate 16 is there can be a drive for perfectionism here and you may feel like you need to hide because you’ve been shamed for not getting it right somewhere along the line. Perfectionism can consume you – which is the energy I was in prior to this moment. I was always waiting for everything to be perfect in order to do what I wanted to do. That all changed in an instant and drove me towards the other energy of my Saturn….

You can read more about Gate 16 in Human Design here.

Gate 8 Human Design

Gate 8 is the energy of contribution. This is the energy that is here to impact the world through relentless authenticity. If this gate is defined for you, you’re here to lead by example and are often the first to experience something in order to bring it to the world. The underlying shadow or fear that live in this energy in your design is that you won’t be accepted for who you really are, that you’ll be judged for trying to make this contribution and that your relationships will suffer.

At this time in my life, inside of me there was a longing for more. If I’m honest, this longing is ALWAYS there. How could it not be with Gate 8 as my Conscious Sun?

You can read more about Gate 8 in Human Design here.

Can Human Design Help You Find Your Purpose?

I became driven to find my purpose.

Before that September day, I was so focused on the future. Things like how much money was in the bank, how we’d pay for retirement, and what I had to do to make it all happen, occupied my time. I never gave a single thought to whether I was satisfied with my life or not!

After that day, I chose to live full out.
Finding my purpose was no longer something that I could save for later.
It became the driving force of who I am – and it’s remained so to this very day.

I now understand that my purpose – and your purpose – is all about who we are here to BE not what we are here to do. We are called to embody the energies in our designs to play fully with life.

Sure, we’re gonna get tossed around but that’s part of what makes the ride so damn enjoyable.

Throughout my entire career, and let’s face it, as a Manifesting Generator there have been many, the thread that has woven it all together is this need to contribute, to have the impact I’m here to have.

And there’s a thread that’s running through your life too.

Inside of your Human Design reading, we’ll find that thread and work with how to weave it through everything that you do so that you not only find your purpose, but you live it each and every day.

Listen to the full story on the Unjaded Podcast here.

When you’re ready, you can head on over here to book your own Human Design reading.