- Living my second act on purpose
- Holistic Nutritionist – Reiki Practitioner
- Crystal and Essential oils dealer
- Serial Entrepreneur – have been in business over ¼ century!
- Former long distance runner for fun
- Yoga teacher who no longer teaches and has to really discipline myself to hit the mat daily!
- Wife, mom, No Name (grandma) and fur baby mom
- Manifesting Generator 2/4 profile emotional authority in Human Design
- Executor in Strengths Finder
- Kolby 9 quick start
- Gets the shit done ✔
- I have been where you are now
“Vickie, you’re just not that nice anymore.”
Those are the words that changed my life when they came out of my husband’s mouth. You see, he’d always fancied me kind of a bad ass. This highly ambitious, driven creature that he shared a life with yet many times didn’t really understand what to do with me other than to just sit back and watch the whirlwind unfold. He’s my anchor – I’m the one who spins.
I was crushed. I stood in that moment and had to take a deep look at my life as I had built it. It wasn’t serving me. It was destroying me, my marriage, my health, everything that I thought was important to me.
Here I was – building this empire. I had a women’s retail store that I’d built from the ground up. Having been home with our children for 10 years, I’d dreamed of this life and this business for nearly a decade. As a family, we lived a really big life while inside I was dying.
I no longer knew how to show up for me. Actually, I don’t know if I ever really knew how to show up for me. I knew how to be the idea of me that everyone expected. I knew how to check off the list of accomplishments. I knew how to keep life ticking along for everyone else. When it came to me, I didn’t even know that I could want anything just because I wanted it, let alone how to get it.
My physical body was showing signs of this too. My digestive system was shot. We could barely go out anymore because I needed to be near a bathroom at all times. The doctor couldn’t find a cause for it so he chalked it up to IBS and told me to live with it.
I hadn’t slept through the night in 20+ years.
To say that I was out of energy would be an understatement. I was dragging myself through my days, desperately searching for some sort of motivation or greater meaning. I found neither.
The weight piled on, despite my best efforts. No matter how many miles I ran or salads I ate, I couldn’t shift it and it was frustrating the hell out of me.
My periods lasted for weeks and I always carried a change of pants with me – you know the drill.
My doctor asked only about my sex life and my weight gain and offered me hormone patches and anti-depressents. It seems all of these symptoms are ‘just part of aging’ and that I should have learned to live with them. At the ripe old age of 40.
These were all of the symptoms of my blatant neglect of myself. My soul was crying out for me to listen, yet I turned a blind eye until I could no longer ignore her.
I was miserable – inside and out.
I felt like a fraud. I had this life that anyone would kill for yet my soul was dying. To say that I felt unfulfilled would be an understatement. There just wasn’t any life in me anymore.
Yet all along I was plastering a smile on my face. But I wasn’t fooling everyone. I’d get home and take off the mask and lash out at my husband or be sad all the time. He knew the gig was up and somewhere inside of me, I knew it too.
That’s when he looked at me and said the words that changed the entire trajectory of my life. Funny thing is – he doesn’t even remember saying them but to me they were a sword through my heart and the call to battle that I needed.
I needed to connect with myself again and figure out who I really was. Who was I away from the husband and the kids and the business and the face that I showed everyone else. Who was really in there? What did SHE want out of life?
I went to doctors first. I tried exercise, I joined a gym, a running club, a yoga studio. I went to see a homeopath. I went to see natural healers. I tried everything I could think of but nobody could figure out what was wrong with me.
Oh but I still had that smile plastered on for everyone else.
Never let them see you sweat and all of that bullshit.
Finally, I booked an appointment with a holistic nutritionist. It took us a few months of working together to figure out what the underlying issue was and to start the long path back to healing but heal I did.
Over the course of a year, I lost the physical weight. I went from sleeping 2-3 hours a night to sleeping 6.5 hours – every single night. I had the energy that I needed not only to get through my days but also to do the deep soul work that I needed to do to find out what I really wanted in this next phase of my life.
This was the work I was hungry for. I dove into emotional healing and it became my lifeline. I uncovered all of the shit I’d been holding onto in my cells. Learning to let it go set me free.
I discovered my purpose. I know why I’m here and I live it each and every day. I am here to help women to love themselves.
And you know what – I’m nice to be around because I’m happy in my own skin – possibly for the first time in my life. I’ve learned that in order to be happy, I need to put myself first. I need boundaries and true self care.
It means I come first. My health. My time alone. And I make no apologies for it because when I take care of me, everything else falls into place – and when I don’t, nothing works.
That’s what I really needed. I needed to find purpose in my life. I knew that there was someone inside of me, ready to rise from the wreckage. And rise she did.
Now it’s your turn.
When you’re ready, find out how we can work together here.